¶ Door Number Twenty-Eight
¶ Morals and Manners
¶ “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”
Imam Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) said in his sermon about his meeting with Imam Mahdi (PBUH & His Family):
And after this meeting, I had many consecutive meetings with Imam Mahdi (PBUH) and he clarified many things to me but he did not command me to announce anything to anyone, rather he gave me a lot of directives that concerned me and disciplined me and taught me the best of the divine morals and manners.
My journey with Imam Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) followed the same path. A large portion of that journey focused on the Imam disciplining me and bringing forth from me these divine morals and manners. As such it is important that every person reading this Holy Book, and truly believes in this religion, and wishes for their body to become a vessel for a pure soul, that they discipline themselves. One day one of the believers disrespected me immensely and the matter reached Imam ِAhmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace).
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “I shall return your right to you, and you know your Father when he returns rights to its people. My son, I want you, though, to know the meaning of Joseph. Joseph means praised manners, patience, strength, willpower, love, compassion, mercy, the fighting of the ego, nobility, purity, might, forgiveness, obedience to God, being a poor, despicable servant towards God.”
I said, “Do you find these traits in me, Father?”
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “All of it is in you, and a part of it you have not used yet. I am disciplining you; I am disciplining a cub; I want him to grow up and be a lion. When I put my head on the dirt, I am at peace that I disciplined and created the Ahmed Al-Hassan that Mohammed (PBUH & His Family) created. I raised you as my Father raised me, so don’t ever get affected or get angry. When the righteous Father wants to discipline his son, he puts pressure on him in order that he brings out a man that can bear responsibility.”
I said, “Ok, grant me another chance (to be more patient).”
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Son, the opportunity is open. Who said to you, O Abdullah, that I closed the door? Your door is open, and I shall not leave you until I see what I want to see. I only want the world to see the greatness of Joseph through his morals and manners, and through his compassion and sympathy, through his mercy, his wisdom, his strength, through everything.”
I said, “I am trying to be Ahmed Al-Hassan” and I pulled out a black book that was filled with my handwriting and said, “This is my book, I wrote it with my hands, it has in it every wisdom I ever heard from you.”
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Great job! Great job, my son! Great job! I do not see in disciplining you anything but happiness. I am happy and I never get bored or tired from this and I have faith that you will be as God wants you to be, and I have faith that I can make you as God wants you to be. So rise as you have risen before and as you have changed. Rise, for you are able, and by God you have a great ability to change and that is something in your favor, my beloved. Now go tell the people that so and so were perhaps ignorant in some matters, and they do not know, and that you have prayed for them and have asked God to forgive them.”
¶ Advice to the Ansar
Imam Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) said, “I want something very important. I want that the believers learn the manners of the Ahlul-Bayt and their discipline and nature so that they may be truly the best nation that ever was. Discipline is more important than knowledge. Morals and manners are above all else. Knowledge can be given any time but someone who is disciplined in the wrong way is very difficult to correct later, it is like a tree which grew crooked, once that happens it is very difficult to straighten. All should work for one. There should be no sensitivities amongst the believers, and everyone should automatically be willing to help everyone. The believers should be like a beehive, if one person makes a mistake, the other should bring it to their attention, there should be no shame between you, you are all one, if one person makes a mistake then shame on everyone because you are all one. I want the people to see in my Ansar true Prophets and Messengers, in their manners and everything, just as one of Adam’s (PBUH) friends said about Hamidreza when he met him, he said: ‘That man is a Prophet’ and he praised his manners. The people should speak this way about my Ansar and I do not accept anything less than that. If they reach that degree, then that is enough for me and enough for them because after that they themselves will have reached a point where they are better than the Prophets in their manners. I want everyone to be with everyone like that, with the close and the distant, the husband with the wife, in public and in private, everyone maintains the same manners and actions, not differing in treatment and behavior with a young person or an elderly person.”
¶ Thinking About the Poor
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Even if it is the person’s own money, the believer should not just spend abundantly as they wish or buy things that are not necessary or things that are just for entertainment or buy things that are expensive, for sure not. I myself, whom the believers say that everything belongs to me, do not give my own self the right to do that. Spending should be done responsibly, I call it moral spending. Every human being has to think of other than himself. He must think that there are hundreds of millions of people that are starving and cannot find a single bite to eat. They cannot find anything to cover them and keep them warm from the cold of the winter. They cannot find a roof that protects them from the tyranny and oppression of the sons of Adam. I do not care what religion they practice or what they believe in, they don’t know and don’t realize what the truth is. Place the judgment for that on the side. What’s important for me is that there is a human being who is starving, and we must think about those people, because one day they will be Ansar and supporters who are tough on the disbelievers and hypocrites and who are brothers and sisters to you.”
¶ Submission
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Nothing shall benefit you in this religion except for two things, without these two things it is very difficult to remain firm on this path, and it is patience, then patience, then patience, then submission. Submission is one of the easiest ways for a person to walk on the straight path. It is also one of the hardest things to do. If the human being submits but is not truly submissive it will bear negative consequences on the human’s life until it throws him into destruction, God forbid.”
¶ Shortcoming
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “To feel like you are a shortcomer is the feeling that every believer has. Even Imam Mahdi (PBUH) says: ‘I am a shortcomer’ and even I feel like an extreme shortcomer to the point that I do not sleep at night and all praises are due to God. We are all shortcomers my son, because God gives us a lot in exchange for what we give Him which is so little. And even that little which we give Him is not from us, rather it is all by His Grace. So we do not even have any favor in it.”
¶ Depending on God Completely
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “The believing human being must be constantly rising, and he must never stop or have a limit. Rather, he must always ask for more in all conditions and at all times, and he must always recite these words: ‘There is no power nor might except by God.’ Let that be your constitution in all areas of life, you will be the happiest of all humans, but the believer must not say it by the tongue alone, but rather they should say it in their heart and mind and be a believer in it by word and action.”
¶ Never Interpret Without Knowledge
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “The one who interprets without knowledge is not rewarded if they are correct and is blamed if they are wrong.”
¶ Think before You Speak
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Ali ibn Abi Talib (PBUH) used to wish that his neck was long so that before he spoke a single word, if there was anything wrong in it, he could return it back and fix it before it came out of his mouth. He (PBUH) never spoke a sentence or single word except that he posed it to himself first, studied its negative effects and its positive effects and then afterwards decided if it is feasible to say. That is the reason why you always find him wise and an eloquent speaker and every word that he says has in it wisdom and an entire sermon with unlimited benefits.”
¶ Fear Is Not One of Our Qualities
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Fear is not one of our qualities. The believer is not afraid of anything except for God. Whoever is with God is not afraid, the one who is far from God feels fearful. Closeness to God makes a person feel safe.”
¶ The Caravan of Ahmed
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Ahmed Al-Hassan does not want in his caravan a believer who is not speaking to his brother. Whoever is not speaking to his brother should not say that he is one of my Ansar and I do not want him. Everyone must love everyone, everyone must protect everyone, everyone must prefer everyone over their own selves, and everyone must prefer the children of everyone else over their own children. Everyone is in front of me, and I am last. That should be your motto, I shall not take until my brother takes, I shall not eat until my brother eats, I shall not dress until my brother dresses. I shall sleep hungry, and my brother shall sleep comfortably. I shall sleep on the floor and my brother shall sleep in a warm bed. I shall die in order that my brother lives. If you are not like this and more, by God, by God, by God, a Divine Just State shall not be established. It shall not be established until this justice and equality is established between you first. It must begin from within you, O believers.”
¶ Mistakes
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “It is not shameful that the human being makes a mistake then figures out that he made a mistake, but rather the shame is when he knows that he made a mistake, and he continues holding on to his mistake.”
¶ Work
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Working is an act of worship. Work, work, work until your breath is cut. Whoever says that sustenance is upon God while they sleep in their home shutting their door, shall not obtain a single loaf of bread, but whoever says sustenance is upon God, then they wake up early depending on God, looking for sustenance, shall receive at least what they did not expect of sustenance.”
¶ Rest
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “I do not promise the believers rest in this world ever, until their last breath, but I do guarantee for you paradise and the supreme victory.”
¶ Marriage
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Marriage is a duty upon all believers.”
¶ Patience
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “I ask God for you and your brethren patience in what you shall see and hear. There is no rest in the material world, my son. Hurtful words are worse than the sword and worse than prison. Filthy, impure, false accusations are worse than death. Be patient, verily God is with the patient. Be patient, for verily God is with the patient strivers. Do not forget that, my son, patience. They shall say many things about you, but your name shall be written amongst the winners, God-willing.”
¶ Always Think Good of God: God Never Misguides His Sincere Servants
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Whoever wants to reach shall reach and whoever doesn’t want to reach shall not. Be and you shall be. Sleep and you shall sleep. My advice to you always and forever is that you think good of God always, and that you always think that God does not misguide His sincere servants. Be patient, be patient, and be patient. For whoever works by that, by God, shall never go out of this world except in a state of happiness and satisfaction. We do not own anything, my son. Everything we have is loaned to us: our money, our children, our bodies, our souls. Everything is entrusted to us. All of it belongs to God. He is the owner of all things. Purify yourself from the inside, and you shall know as I know. Remove the remnants of the material world from your heart and purify your inside. Wish for your brother what you wish for yourself. Wish it for all humanity. Make yourself the first to give and the last to take. Discipline yourself and know that God hears and sees what is in the heart. The tongue does not bring forth nor does it delay.”
¶ Never Take by Force
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Only take from someone what they give from their own selves without them giving it due to them being embarrassed, for that which is taken in that way is like that which is taken by force. You can only take if the person gives it to you willingly.”
¶ The Believer Never Lies
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “The believer might do many things, but the believer does not lie. The thing I hate the most is a liar. The one who lies can do anything, he can steal, cheat, fornicate, murder.”
¶ Confession
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Confession of guilt is a virtue. When the human being makes a mistake and then confesses, God Almighty forgives him, but that mistake must be one that was committed unintentionally, meaning, one cannot go forth committing sins and mistakes on purpose and then just expect that they can come and confess. That is called hypocrisy.”
¶ Forgiveness
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “We are the preferred ones of God and His Household, from the characteristics of this House is courage and forgiveness.”
¶ Anger
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “Anger for yourself is not one of your characteristics, O Mahdis.”
¶ Everything Has a Time
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “My son, I want you to understand something which is very important and which you will need in your life and in your divine path and in the correction of this religion and in this responsibility that has fallen upon you in this great matter. I want you to understand that you will not know anything until its time has come. Every matter has a time and everything has a date and a particular time which God has determined for it, and the timing which God chose without a shadow of a doubt is the best timing and any time other than that, you shall be the one who loses, even if you think that you shall be the winner if you know earlier. Just depend on God and submit to Him and you shall see the heavens and the earth opening for you and spreading out for you. I do not forbid you from thinking, rather I tell you to never stop contemplating, and this contemplation will for sure benefit you when the command of God comes. God always gives symbols, and through thinking you shall be able to decode these symbols after depending on God. Thinking is an exercise for the mind, train your mind, think, discover, and never stop doing that, but know that for every matter is an appointed time. I am here to discipline you and teach you and prepare you for the matter of your Lord, and the divine mission that God placed on your shoulders. You shall never be lost so long as God the Dear, the Everlasting is present, there shall be none who get lost in the presence of God and whoever depends on other than God is humiliated. Take your power and strength from God Almighty and always set your sight on Him, in rising and sitting and eating and drinking and in everything. He is the One who deserves worship and deserves that we depend on Him because He is the great Creator that sees but is not seen, except for what He wills.”
¶ Never Abandon Friends
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “The true man never abandons his friends. Rather, never abandon anyone who helped you with anything in any day.”
¶ Altruism
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “My son, once human beings give up selfishness and they prefer others over their own selves, the world shall be a world of light, and you shall not find in it a poor person or one in need or a hungry person or a scared person. That is the most important thing that human beings should do, to prefer others over their own selves, my brother first, my sister first.”
¶ Treatment of Others
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “I shall not forgive any person who transgresses against his believing brother or sister, whomever they may be. And whoever does that shall not receive God’s mercy. He shall be touched by the fire of God and he shall be burnt by it until the end of time. I want to see everyone dealing with everyone as if they are Ahmed Al-Hassan, as if they are all Aba Al-Sadiq. I am not pleased with anything other than that, rather I do not accept anything other than that.”
¶ Raising a Son
The Imam (From Him is Peace) said, “I rebuke and teach you, and the son does not become a man except by severe strictness. If you have a son that you wish to discipline, you must be severely strict with him in order that he becomes a man that you can depend on and in order that he is able to depend on himself. No matter how severely strict I am with you, you are my beloved. If I am not strict with you one day then know that I am not pleased with you. If you wish to be as I want you to be, then you must bear and what you wish for shall happen to you. You too be strict with the believers for their own benefit. The Father who is soft with his children is not a good Father nor a strong disciplinary figure. For that reason I get angry with you and even hit you sometimes in order that I bring out of you a man that is able to withstand the storms and strikes of time.”
¶ Lessons I Learned From My Father
1. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that the mercy of God preceded His Anger.
2. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that he is a man, and to be a man means that you never abandon or give up on your friends.
3. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) to not fear him, for no one fears him except for his enemies.
4. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that if you are harsh in your manners and speech with people, they will all go away from you.
5. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that God loves to cover people’s sins and faults so much so that God Himself made the person the only watcher and judge over his own self.
6. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that the best way to lead people is to do so without them feeling or knowing that you are leading them and to teach them in a way that they don’t feel they are being taught.
7. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that God sent 313 Messengers to the nations and that 313 Messengers were almost erased. Every person who had the duty to carry God’s message to a nation was almost erased, so contemplate over that while dealing with people.
8. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) to be patient and never run away from nor abandon my people, even if they try to fight me, imprison me, or kill me.
9. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that I should look at people with the eye of love. For whoever looks at the people with the eye of love sees nothing but good, and whoever looks at the people with an eye other than that sees faults.
10. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that to have Ansar without morals and manners that actually give victory to God is better than having pious people who do not give victory.
11. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that sometimes the Messenger needs more disciplining than the people he was sent to. God had mercy on Nineveh, but the whale swallowed Jonah (PBUH). God had mercy on Israel, but punished Hosea with a woman. God says,
“And we did not send you except as a mercy to the world”
and whoever does not have mercy does not deserve mercy.
12. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that as you do shall be done unto you. As you judge, shall you be judged. As you treat the people, shall you be treated. Verily, God is Just and loves justice. No one is above this rule. King Khosrow cut his son to pieces over the money of an old poor person, and he was not more just than Ahmed Al-Hassan.
13. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that there was no nation without mistakes. More importantly, He did not send a Messenger that did not commit a mistake. So contemplate over that, O sons of Adam!
14. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that perhaps God forgives the fornicating man and woman and covers their sin from the people, but He does not cover the sins of the person who counts the mistakes of others.
15. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that the closest people to him are those who confess their mistakes and sins, because confession is a virtue.
16. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that sometimes the closest people to God were at one point the worst of enemies, so be patient with people.
17. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that I should not expect to see in the people one who does not make mistakes. For all human beings make mistakes, and if I find the one who doesn’t make a mistake, then I should fall down on my face and worship. For there is none who is free of mistakes except for God who there is no God but He.
18. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that the good word is better and longer lasting.
19. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that I should say what is nice or not say anything at all.
20. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that God doesn’t have time to listen to you complaining about others, He is All-Hearing and All-Knowing. What will you tell Him that He doesn’t already know?
21. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that whoever gives victory to God with one dinar in times of hardship, God will overlook all his sins and mistakes and make him enter into paradise before His other servants. So, don’t look down on people for you do not know how many sinners and ill-mannered people will enter paradise before you.
22. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) to forgive everyone. Even the cursed could be forgiven and could return to the mercy of God if they truly repent and reform.
23. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that sometimes the furthest people from God know God the most and sometimes the closest people to God are the furthest people from God in terms of knowing Him.
24. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that once there was a Prophet who asked God to replace his nation with another one. God commanded the Prophet to marry a prostitute and bear children with her. The Prophet did not know if his children from this woman were his or from other than him. Many years later God ordered him to divorce the woman and the Prophet was unable to. God told him: “You cannot divorce a woman that you know is unfaithful even though you do not even know if your children are your own, and you want me to divorce my chosen nation?”
25. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that I must be more patient with my nation than Noah (PBUH) was, even if it took a thousand years, for Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) said: “I shall be patient, if my Lord wills, even for a thousand years until God fulfills a matter which He had already ordained and I shall not complain about you to God.”
26. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) to love people. For loving people is faith and loving one’s own self is disbelief. Whoever loves himself has thought good of himself and saw in himself goodness. Whoever loved the people has thought of them good and saw in them goodness.
27. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that it wasn’t just the Israelites that were forbidden from entering the Promised Land. Rather, Moses and Aaron (PBUT) were forbidden from entering before them, so contemplate, O son of Adam.
28. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that every time he sent me to teach someone something, I learned something.
29. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that religion is good treatment of others, and whoever doesn’t treat others well has no religion.
30. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that whoever breaks a person bears the sin of them going out.
31. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that even the one who saw under the Throne had envy within him. Even the Peacock angel had envy within him. Even the one who was a Caliph over the angels and ate from the tree had envy within him. So, contemplate that, O sons of Adam!
32. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that I should give everything to God and not care.
33. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that if I keep a penny more than what I need I have disbelieved.
34. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that God does not abandon those who do not abandon Him.
35. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that a person can give more than what he has. God never burdens a person with more than what they can bear. The human being is limitless and has no limit to what they can bear.
36. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that the impossible is only what the person decides is impossible for himself. There is no such thing as impossible.
37. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that perhaps the lowest of the people teaches you the greatest of lessons, just as the ant taught Solomon not to be prideful.
38. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that the one who does not serve the religion of God is worthless, and the one who serves the religion of God, even if by a stroke of a pen, is priceless.
39. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that the one appointed responsible over the affairs of the people is closer to hellfire than the ones whom he is appointed over. 313 Messengers were almost erased, but 313 nations were not.
40. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that I should help people against their own selves and I should not help the selves against the people.
41. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that mercy and humanity come first. Humanity comes before religion.
42. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that I should never give up on someone who helped me one day, even if they were a disbeliever or an atheist or an addict.
43. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) that to mention people’s mistakes is a mistake.
44. I learned from Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) to apologize even if I am not at fault.
The lessons which I learned from Imam Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace) are infinite. I mentioned here some of the words that he spoke to me, and I mentioned some lessons that I learned from him over the years. An infinite amount of books could be written about the lessons I learned from him, but I leave you with these that I chose to share as I see they are most beneficial for you at this time.
¶ Sources
- The Holy Qur’an, Chapter 21 (Al-Anbiya), Verse 107
- From the Sermon “To the Students of the Hawza in Najaf Al-Ashraf and Qom and Everywhere in the World” by Imam Ahmed Al-Hassan (From Him is Peace).